Little Acts of Defiance

So, I've been reading a one year devotional, and today it was about inner rebellion. Now, in case you don't know me, I am basically a straight-laced, rule follower. As far as eternal actions, I sort of have this whole "not rebelling" thing down pat. I was one of those high schoolers who was told "to stay out later and have a life" rather than to "get my booty home this instant." However, when we add the qualification of "inner" to rebellion, I am afraid I don't make the cut...in any way, shape, or form. After reading the devotional, I started thinking about the "small" ways that I rebel, things that no one else would would notice and or care about that I do in order to feel "cool" or "bad." Now though these things are not life or death issues, they show that I, in my own small ways, rebel against the things that I internally despise.

There is a deep rooted hatred for rules within me that I often don't think about. Making the following list of my own little acts of defiance has helped me see that the internal workings of my heart desire "sticking it to the system" more than serving others and worshipping God even in the small things that I do. Though most of these are silly, they still show an internal problem that I have with others telling me what to do; they show the desire I have to make myself the God if my life--to be my own Editor-in-Chief.

1. I lick the beginning page of every chapter in every book I ever check out from the library. I do this because I want others to touch the pages and, without knowing it, get my germs. Because I am a nerd, a lot of people now have my germs. This sort of makes me happy.

2. I regularly steal pens. I do not purposely steal individual's pens; however, I love taking pens from corporate offices or places that have a boss man. I especially cherish taking pens from corporations that choose to not give me a job...at least lately. I also revel in the fact that later when people ask me about said stolen pens, I lie and say that I took them on accident--"must have placed it behind my ear."

3. If three consecutive guys at college walk through a door I am holding open for them and none offer to hold it open for me, I "accidentally" stomp on the third guy's foot. As if anyone could "stomp" on something "accidentally!" And no, I don't do this because I want to turn my fellow classmates into gentlemen. (Do not give me too much credit.) I do it because I secretly feel I am somehow more important than that poor, unsuspecting third guy. I am selfish and prideful, and I need to work on this.

4. When I pour drinks for my brothers, I purposely put ice in my brother Mitchell's glass when I know he hates it because I secretly despise always being the one to pour drinks for everyone else. I am not the natural servant that I seem to be.

5. When I watch movies with sketchy scenes, I put on the captions so that I can read the funny descriptions of wrongdoings. For some reason, I find it funny when the screen reads: [sound of pants unzipping] or [girl says no awkwardly]. I know that this is very bad, and that is part of the reason that I do it.

6. Any time someone taller than me blocks my view during a play or a church service, I secretly think horrid things about this anonymous taller-than-me person. I create insults in my head for Tall Person A, and judge them by their appearance to be "geeky," "dumb," or a "hick." This is very bad and shows that I am much more judgemental and prideful than I'd like to think.

7. Finally, I purposely sneeze on people. Quite often.

As I said before, I know that these are small things. However, they point to the very prevalent sin tendencies inside of me that I don't like to acknowledge. I challenge you to make your own list of "Little Acts of Defiance." You may discover something interesting.